Lets kick this article off by saying I'm part of a niche demographic. I'm female. I'm Black. And I am a huge James Bond fan.
And I ain't some novice from generation X (No offence X'ers), who for them, Bond starts with Daniel Craig. But I've been riding this dragon since Roger Moore was killing & thrilling. Since Timothy Dalton was smizing right into your girls hotel room. And since our beloved uncle, Pierce Brosnan, made utter arrogance and a dry sense of humour look sexy and appealing.
To truly appreciate Bond you have to understand its evolution. How its storyline and leading Protagonist have developed to satisfy our bloodlust for CGI Action. And how intricate the plot must be to persuade an espionage enthusiasts like myself. I exercise, abuse even, my right to poke holes in any story as I watch it because I can. I detest watching films/series that - in their pursuit to engage the viewer - haven't a foggiest where they are actually going. They pose more questions than they answer and then expect your imagination to do the rest of their work. Da fuq?
I digress.
The borderline comical delivery from the initial bond movies are better suited to a Month Python sketch but they are an ode to an era. I commend the Franchise for adapting to suit an unforgiving viewer like myself so this article isn't about which Bond 'wore it best'. it's about the future of this beloved Franchise. 2021's 'No Time to Die' was sadly, the last offering from Daniel. So now is the time to speculate on who may fill his shoes. I absolutely adore Craig as Bond so these are some very big shoes to fill.
In the 2 years since his departure, several names being thrown into the mix; Robert Pattinson, Harry Styles, Tom Hardy, Idris Elba, Micheal B Jordan, Riz Ahmed, Daniel Kaluuya, Henry Cavill and a female nomination, Lashana Lynch.
There are a couple other actors allegedly in the running but their obscurity makes it pointless (and bias) to write an article about them. So for the purpose of saving time I will give my 2 pence on each actors suitability. And if you didn't know, my opinion reigns supreme around here
Idris Elba - Known for The Wire, Luther, Takers and more
We start here because by far, I've heard his name come up in the Bond conversation more than any other Actor. Likely because of his natural Cockney charm and indisputable range that has catapulted him into Global success. I can actually imagine him as 007 and his build suggests he could meet the physical demands of the role...BUT! For how long?
I'm certainly not being ageist - he's maturing like a fine wine *Sip Sip* - but the Man is 50 years old!
When you consider that Daniel Craig first appeared in Casino Royal in 2006 and his last film with the franchise was released in 2021 - He's played Bond for 15 years. Even when Craig was initially cast at the age of 41 - there were grumblings because he was considered "too old". He proved them all wrong of course and so could Idris. However, the question remains does Idris Elba have 15 years to offer this role?
Robert Pattison - He's best known for playing a pasty 'teenage' vampire in a love triangle with a Wolf (...still surprised the ab-wielding wolf lost).
Whilst he was a huge success with girls aged 11 to 21, I can't unsee his near translucent flesh so I'm finding it hard to envision him as an ass-kicking MI5 agent with a Tan. For me, He doesn't exude the unique blend manliness and sophistication 007 encompasses.
Tom Hardy - best known for Bane, Venom and blinding your peakers.
Truth is when I heard he was in the running I got a lady boner. But I've been told, by several individuals, that my panties may be skewing my judgement on his suitability for the job. For that I am unapologetic.
But in the pursuit of being unbiased, its true Hardy's strengths lay in playing unkempt characters. But I think that Cockney charm, once polished, would really work in his favour. He's proven he has the physicality to take on the challenge of this role. At the very least, he would make a great Villain. Strong contender and my vageen agrees.
Harry Styles - Best known for polluting our air waves as 1 of 5 Directionioners.
Personally I love his forward thinking fashion sense and attitude towards sexuality (He's ambiguous in both). And his generally unproblematic nature - All of which reasons I can't envision him playing this role and doubt he would be given it anyways. He is the definition of fresh meat and I don't want him to be tasked with this momentous responsibility. He's done all of two movies, 'Dunkirk' and 'The Eternals'. So I say to thee, Baby boy go eat your watermelon and come back when you've ripened.
Daniel Kaluuya - Best known for Get Out, Queen and Slim and Nope
Okay so I'd have to admit I'm biased when it comes to this particular Actor. He's from my Home country - Uganda - and setting pace and putting UG on the Map in ways that don't involve an Idi Amin biopic. He is indisputably engaging but can he play a suave, droll, espionage agent like James Bond? Seemingly Irresistible to any villains girlfriend? (it's part of the 007 manifesto). He's a Great Actor and has gone from strength to strength but it's a strong Hmmm for me.
Riz Ahmed - Known for Venom, Night Crawler and the hilarious dark comedy, Four Lions
Now I've watched his career blossom and will say his choice of roles are intriguing but always well delivered. He's a reliable supporting actor. He conveys seriousness in a way that could make him a believable agent and he does wear a suit well. And needless to say him being placed in the role would signal a change in virtue that is really needed in Hollywood. Providing an alternative to the predictable White Male Protagonist.
But, does he exude the sexual prowess needed to entice me pay an extortionate 20 quid at the cinema? Could he deliver the fight scenes that would appease a violence connoisseur like myself? The answer is a frank No & No.
Lashana Lynch - Known for The Woman King, Matilda, Dr Strange and more
So whilst most people would think a feminist like me would be blindly thrilled at a Black Woman potentially being cast as the first female 007, I'd have to say this is not the change in tides I wanted from Hollywood.
Firstly, she did technically get cast as double 007 in 'No Time To Die'. She rules the roost whilst Daniel Craig was on hiatus from having his heart broken from his 2nd treacherous girlfriend.
Whether she will return in any meaningful capacity is yet to be determined but I suspect that was a diversity hire, and convenient way to tests audiences responsively to her presence.
And if you're asking, I don't want a POC cast simply for the sake of inclusivity. Because if such a bold change is made and it tanks at the Box Office, its demise will be blamed on the (Black) Feminazis when that's not what we asked for. It's like being the First Black President. Be ready for an on slaught of abuse no matter your competence or composure.
What we (the feminists) would like to see is a franchise that ages well, like Resident Evil. With an intricate and elaborate story line, a big budget, and a woman of colour leading the way.
In conclusion, James Bond is a British classic and deserves to continue as such, so I support the desire to protect its legacy. Inclusion isn't erasing a nations heritage and James Bond is intrinsically intertwined with the English identity, hence why they are so intent on safe guarding its future.
SO WHO THEN? I hear you scream...
Henry Cavill - DUH?! - Known for Marvel, Mission Impossible and for being Beautiful man candy
Truthfully, I knew the answer was Henry Caville before I even thought of writing this article. Go google his picture and come back here and tell me anyone else deserves a spot?
He's English. He's ripped. He wears the fuck out of a suit. He's well spoken. He made a great agent in U.N.C.L.E and protagonist in Superman. He is my sole motivation for watching The Witcher. I'd argue that he's a great Actor too, but the Bond Character is hardly complex or Oscar-nomination worthy.
The filmed is propped up with high-octane CGI action and The 007 Archetype hasn't evolved too far from its OG blue print;
Agent - Suave, Intelligent, Rebellious, Arrogant with Narcissistic traits, Sexually Rambunctious (Enjoys grey area consent)
Storyline - Enemies of state or Enemies of bond - Past, present, future. Not always but often Brown guys.
Location - Tropical and/or exotic. Also, snow.
Women - A commodity. In fact let's not get into it.
See? It's already written! So whoever is next up simply has to bring their own Swag into an existing Blueprint. Therefore, I deduce the most appropriate, feasible candidate by default is Henry Cavill. (And swim suit scenes are guaranteed in most Bond Films and I would pay goOod money to see that)
Comments