Gender Noncomformity explained
For many, the term 'Gender Neutral' is a divisive statement - but only because it's entirely misunderstood.
Its discourse is typically explored by adults who have their own testimonials of what it is to live between Genders or as a 'genderless' individual - or to engage with one, and how that might translate into their dating life.
However, Gender Neutrality is about so much more. Because Sexual Orientation and Gender are two separate, but parallel conversations. My aim is to enlighten those of you have may not have had personal dealings with individuals of the Gen-Nu variety (a term I coined just for the sake of clarity in this article but I hope catches on ©).
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So, putting it simply, raising Gender Neutral children would simply be doing away with stereotypes of what little girls and boys should be - or like.
Now that we're finally starting to grasp the long lasting implications of Toxic Masculinity, shouldn't we create an environment where little boys can express their feelings freely? Too many men grow up unable to manage their moods because certain types of self expression weren't incorporated in their emotional development. They were/are expected to be 'strong' and 'stoic', as if it were a rite of passage for all men.
So it comes as no surprise - at least to me - that Male suicides have consistently accounted for approximately three-quarters of all suicides (UK) since the mid-1990s. That's a staggering amount.
Meanwhile, the Prince Charming myth lures women into a false state of dependency. That they are expected to be delicate and subservient and their prize will be a devoted husband. That essentially, procreation is her purpose and those who fall short of that description are met with hostility. *Insert passionate interrogation from Aunty*
Toxic-femininity seeks to define the ideals of what a women should be, or do, or look like. And, where they should be e.g. Women belong in the Kitchen. And often those women - who bravely venture into male dominated arenas - are met with misogyny and antagonism. As if she doesn't deserve a seat at the table, in spite of how hard she worked to earn a place.
More so, research shows perpetuating the idea of your daughter being your Precious Princess or reinforcing that 'Big Boys don't cry' can actually have a damaging effect of their emotional reasoning skills. And In some cases, their survival skills.
That all may sound general and perhaps experiential - so let's take a closer look.
There are biological and environmental factors that can inadvertently shape ones gender identity long before sexual orientation is established. An individual may produce more testosterone though she is a biological female or more Estrogens, though a biological male. Alternatively, one may be intersex. Presenting both (or neither) male and female reproductive sex organs.
Testosterone is thought to regulate sex drive, bone mass, fat distribution, muscle mass and strength. And, the production of red blood cells and sperm. Meanwhile Estrogens signalling effects behaviours closely linked with aggression. Including sexual behaviour, communication, learning and memory. The true power and complexity of our brains is an evolving education but we can surmise this unique chemical makeup may influence sexual behaviours and attractions.
Additionally, if you believe in Freakanomics: unconventional but viable explanations for societal or cultural shifts. Consider when and how we may be ingesting Estrogens and Testosterone inadvertently?
Testosterone therapies used for the treatment of decreased energy, libido, erectile dysfunction, and gender related healthcare mean our water is being spiked very with minimal amounts of the synthetic hormones. Contraception's like the Pill release Estrogen into our Water supplies. Though it accounts for only 1%, it can have an adverse effect on Humans and in some instances, cause mutations in Wild Life.
Interestingly there are concerns - mostly by gender-conformists - that our societies obsession with Gender is a sign of the end of times. I won't delve too far as i'm not a scholar but the concept and power of genders has changed throughout the ages. Historically, there has always been language to indicate Males, Females and the In-betweeners.
A third or other gender/social role has been attested in Arabia since around 600AD. The Trans community of 'Kathoeys' has existed in Thailand since ancient times. In Mesopotamian and Sumerian culture, there were well documented occurrences of trans identities. 'Gala' for instance - A Male to Female Priesthood was revered as sacred. Native American cultures noted 'more than 100 different gender expressions'.
The real question is... Why are people so intent on preserving these archaic systems that bind us, biologically and socially? One might argue it is to preserve the Patriacry - A system of opression whose victims are mostly female.
Its time to let some old traditions die to make room for new ones.
So, what have we learnt today? If anything...
The conversation of Gender is complex. Gender identities can Influenced by environmental, biological and societal factors. it's a conversation as old as time, that we can track since the dawn of civilisations. Therefore, we will likely never come to an agreed consensus. Nor do we need to.
We should be able to agree that long before the World has a chance to influence Children, they deserve the freedom and space to explore the full spectrum of Gender Identity. To find out where they land naturally, whether that is traditional or unconventional.
Children should have the freedom to explore this world without the burdens of conformity. So what you son likes Ballet? or Dolls? So what he becomes a stay at home Dad? Equally, Your daughter shouldn't be discouraged from participating in Sports, Politics... whatever! Let her fight fires, if that's what her heart desires. Neither determine a Childs capabilities or sexual orientation.
...And What's so terrible about being raised gender neutral? I was. My Dad didn't buy us any Barbies or pink dresses. I was never referred to as anyones 'Lil Princess'. Partly because i was a borderline sociopath with a number 2 hair cut. It made me notoriously hard to groom. Point is, I've grown to appreciate what that did for my reasoning skills. Teach your children sovereignty that isn't defined by their gender.
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